Rizzles Missing Moments Series
by itsLisey
Summary: Missing moments from season one. A ficlet taking place during or after each episode. Rizzles. Season 2 to be uploaded later.
1. Season 1: Pilot

**Hi Everyone!  
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**I know it's been a long time.  
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**YES - A Strange Familiarity will be finished. That's actually why I'm writing these. Let me explain:  
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**These will be a short collection of ficlets of missing Rizzles moments from the seasons. Instead of doing NaNoWriMo (which I'm simply too busy to do), I decided to do one Rizzles ficlet a day. These will be very short (and will be posted to my tumblr first, and I'll upload here when I have the time.) I need to get back in the swing of writing FanFiction and specifically writing these two characters, because I've really been struggling and I've been working so much on my own personal writing that I feel like I've lost that Rizzoli & Isles vibe.  
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**So this is my opportunity to get back to it :)  
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**Enjoy!  
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**P.S - if you want to see these as they go up, my tumblr is elisey . tumblr . com. (no spaces)  
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**Pilot Episode – Missing Moment **

**Summary: After deciding not to clean up her ransacked apartment, Jane and Maura take a walk with Jo Friday. It's the beginning of their deeper friendship. **

Jo Friday padded along ahead of them as Jane and Maura walked slow behind her. It was a cool night; the breeze felt good against Jane's bruised skin. Her arms swung heavy at her sides and, as she walked, she continued to wiggle her wrists and clench and unclench her hands. There was still duct tape residue on her skin and it itched. She wondered how many showers it would take for the sticky goo to come completely off. There were times that Jane had herself convinced that she still felt the scalpels imbedded in her skin. Her shrink said that was normal.

But she stopped going to the shrink a long time ago.

"I'm not so sure we can take a dog into a bar." said Maura, just as Jo Friday stopped to sniff a hydrant. Jane shrugged.

"Dirty Robber is already dirty," she joked.

"It's been quite clean whenever I've gone in there."

Jane chuckled. "You take everything seriously, don't you?"

Maura paused for thought. "Yes." she said at last. "Yes, I do." She paused again. "Is that a problem?"

"No, but that's going to make stand-up comedy night's at the Robber a bitch to go to with you." jested Jane. "I guess we'll have to find something else to do on our Thursday nights. Oh wait, work. Get shot at. Cut up dead bodies. Right."

"You're a very sarcastic person, aren't you?"

"Yes. Yes, I am. Is that a problem?"

"Sarcasm can, at times, be misconstrued as hostile or contemptuous, giving the receiver a feeling of little self-worth, belittlement or sadness. Many use sarcastic quips as a way to masquerade their contempt as humor. The problem stems from how easily it is to misinterpret a person's true meaning behind their witticisms. The word sarcasm actually comes from the late latin word _sarcasmos _in 1579, which in turn came from Medieval Greek _sarkasmos, _meaning '_to tear flesh'_."

Jane stopped walking and stared at Maura. "So I'm going to assume that all means my sarcasm is going to be a problem."

"Not at all. I rarely find room to misinterpret something that someone has said, as I take the most literal meaning."

"Right." snorted Jane. "So we've got the green light for friendship?"

Maura smiled. "Yes, I think so."

"Good, 'cause I'm sleepin' at your place again tonight. My bedroom is trashed."

"I'd like that."

"You would?" Jane cocked an eyebrow.

"My house is big. It's lonely."

"Ha," chortled Jane. "How 'bout I send you my Ma and she can live with you? You'll get over that lonely thing real quick. I'll send you my brother, too. You can have the whole family. Maybe they'll stop running around my place so much."

"Oh I'm sure it's not that bad,"

"I'll remember you said that. One day you'll understand."

Jane walked ahead to grab Jo Friday before she ran into the street, and Maura lagged behind, simply watching her friend. They had been friends before this ordeal with Hoyt, but Maura felt something pivotal change between them – was this really her best friend? Did Maura Isles have a best friend? She smiled, looping her arms with Jane's as she strode past her. Jo Friday marched on ahead.

"I hope I will understand one day." she said quietly, but Jane didn't hear her.


	2. Season 1: Boston Strangler Redux

**Tumblr - .com (ficlets posted there a day early)  
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**November Rizzles Ficlet #2**

**Episode:**_ Boston Strangler Redux_

**Summary:** _After Grant leaves Jane and Maura at the bar, Maura momentarily reflects on how her life has changed since meeting Jane Rizzoli._

* * *

Maura chuckled into her wine glass, causing Jane to look up from her own beer. Their eyes met for a moment before Maura turned away, her lips curling into a smile. When it didn't seem as though Maura was going to speak or explain her laughter, Jane set her beer glass down with a soft thud, pulling her legs off from laying on the seat and facing frontwards towards her friend. She folded her hands together and stared.

"You gonna share with the class?"

Maura's smile froze in place, then she laughed again, her head hanging low. She stared down at her lap for a moment before looking back up at Jane. "I was just thinking."

"You? Thinking? _No,_" muttered Jane sarcastically.

The medical examiner gave a mock smile. "Very funny," she rolled her eyes. "As I was saying, I was just thinking about how in the very few months that we have been friends, I've seen more excitement in the field than I have since beginning as an intern. You seem to attract trouble, Detective Rizzoli," said Maura with a smirk. She took another sip of her wine. It was Jane's turn to laugh.

"Yeah, Ma always said I invited trouble into my life. She, uh, she didn't really want me to become a cop. You know, long hours, little pay. She also had a problem with the getting shot at."

"And now she has two cops in the family."

"Well, technically she has three kids in law enforcement. It's just a matter of what side of the line they're on," replied Jane shortly. Maura raised an eyebrow. Jane sighed, swirling the last of her beer around in the bottle. "My brother Tommy is a different kind of trouble. He's at Norfolk."

If Maura was surprised by the announcement, she didn't show it. She tilted her head a bit, surveying Jane; the dark haired woman seemed uneasy about the revelation, and Maura watched how Jane's hands clenched and unclenched with every passing moment. It was a quirk she had noticed that the detective did quite often, primarily when she was nervous or tired. Maura figured that, in this instance, it was a little of both.

"Metaphorically speaking, we all have skeletons in our closet. No family comes unscathed. We all have our secrets. I mean," Maura set her wine glass down. "Who knows what my biological parents are. My adoption papers are sealed. Your brother could be sharing a cell with my father or uncle or maybe I have a brother. What I'm trying to say is…" Maura slid her hand across the table and let it rest on Jane's. She wasn't used this this; she had never been one to initiate physical contact and she could tell Jane wasn't either, judging by the startled look she gave Maura. But there was something oddly comforting about the way Jane looked back at her, as though to say, without words, that what Maura had done was correct, that this was how friends were meant to respond and behave when talking about something fairly serious. "-you don't have to be ashamed."

Jane shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm not ashamed," she said flatly. "I love my little brother. Just, you know, bein' a cop and all, it's hard to exactly be proud of his choices. I want him to step up, be a man, make something of himself."

"Well," Maura sighed. "I know very little about siblings and even less about the intimate inner-workings of a family outside of a sociological perspective, but I think, even in this situation, that how deeply you want him to get his life together says more than if you were indifferent to his situation. Indifference shows a severed emotional connection. You still care enough that you want to see him succeed. I think that's noble, _especially _when you're on this side of the law."

A subtle smile played at Jane's lips. "Yeah, well. When you talk like you do, I think anything sounds logical."

"And what does that mean?" asked Maura playfully.

"It's means you're probably going to be as much trouble for me, as I'm going to be for you." responded Jane. She raised her fingers to the bartender. "Two more?"

Maura agreed.


	3. Season 1: Sympathy For The Devil

**November Rizzles Ficlet #3**

**Episode: **_Sympathy For The Devil_

**Summary: **Later that night after Grant leaves Jane's porch, Jane pays a visit to Maura's.

"Grant's gone," said Jane as Maura opened the door. It was late and Jane knew it. Her friend had already slipped into her pajamas and there was a book resting against her side, still gripped in her hand. "I'm bothering you." Jane turned to leave, but Maura sprung forward and grabbed her forearm, tugging the detective back towards the door.

"I was just reading. Come in,"

"You sure?"

"I can't lie, remember?" replied Maura with a smile. Jane stepped inside the house, her foot closing the door behind her. She looked around.

"Where's your turtle?"

"_Tortoise,_"

Jane shrugged. "Same thing,"

"They are not! I do hope you're taking care of the tortoise that I gave you. You're monitoring his temperature properly, yes? It's important to make sure that the enclosure does not become too hot, as with a baby tortoise, they heat up far more quickly than one like Bass. It's the basic law of physics,"

"Calm down," Jane laughed. "I'm just messing with you. And yes, Watson is doing just fine."

"Watson? As in James Dewey Watson, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize in physiology or medicine in 1962?"

"No… as in Watson from Sherlock,"

"I didn't know you read the Sherlock Holmes series!"

"I haven't. I meant the show,"

"There's a show?"

"Do you even _own_ a television?"

"Of course I do, it's right behind you,"

Jane turned, her eyes fixating on the large flat screen hanging on Maura's wall. Her mouth dropped, and she turned back to Maura, aghast.

"That's not a television, Maura, that's a movie screen,"

"Oh please," Maura sauntered past Jane and went towards the kitchen, grabbing down two wine glasses and a bottle. She poured them each a full glass. "It's not that large. You're over exaggerating,"

"You've seen my television! Compared to mine, I am _not_ over exaggerating,"

"Perhaps you should purchase a bigger one, then,"

"Yes, I'll run to the store right now and drop two grand on a television I'll never get to watch because I'll be too busy working twenty-four hours a day to pay it off,"

"That television is hardly two thousand dollars,"

"Yeah? How much was it, then?"

"Fifteen-hundred,"

A bit of wine dribbled down Jane's chin. She wiped it with her sleeve, staring incredulously at her friend. "You dropped fifteen-hundred on a television?"

"It was on sale," said Maura defensively.

"Try craigslist!"

"I don't know a Craig."

"You are actually unbelievable," sighed Jane, chuckling a little. Maura smiled back and set her wine glass down, leaning over the counter and looking sadly at Jane. "Oh c'mon, Maura, don't give me that look. I didn't come here for pity. I just thought, you know, that it would be a good idea to let you know that Grant was gone, that's all."

"You liked him."

Jane paused, her eyes drawn to her wine glass. She muttered quietly: "I did, a little,"

"Where's he going?"

"D.C," sighed Jane. "He's going to be a liaison between Boston and Homeland Security. It's a good job, would've been pissed if he hadn't taken it. Not like there was anything keepin' him here to stay. I never would've expected him to stay here for me, you know, I mean, we weren't dating or anything," Jane swirled the wine in her glass.

"But you wanted to be,"

"Maybe," Jane shrugged. "I don't know, really. You know, this is why I hate when my mother gets involved! Never would've seriously considered a relationship with Joey Grant if she hadn't stuck her big Italian nose into it."

"She meant well,"

"Well her _meaning well _means I don't know what I actually want," Jane scowled and downed a huge gulp of wine. "You know in 8th grade, she asked a boy to the formal for me. _I _told her I wanted to stay home and watch the game with Pops, and she went and asked Vinny Tortora to take me. He had bad breath, Maura, and kept trying to kiss me," Maura bit back a laugh. "She always does this, she always gets in the middle. For once, I'd like to form a relationship or develop feelings for someone _before _she gets involved."

"What's stopping you?" asked Maura.

"Well gee, Maura, I don't exactly meet great guys at work."

"There's Detective Frost."

Jane gagged. "Are you on something? He's my partner!"

"He's cute!"

"Well Detective Korsak -" began Maura, but Jane interrupted her.

"- don't you _dare –_"

"I was just going to say," pressed Maura, "-that Detective Korsak is old enough to date someone of your mother's age. Unless, of course, you were in to older men."

Shuddering, Jane tilted her head back, swallowing the last bit of wine in her glass and taking a moment to compose herself. "I think I'll pass. Maybe I'll just become an old spinster. Get a few cats, learn how to knit. Retire when I can and go live in a gated retirement community in Florida. I'll name the cats real normal names, so Ma feels like she's got grandchildren,"

Maura laughed. "Jane, you'll find someone,"

"It's not like I'm looking to get married or anything," said Jane. "But it would be nice. Even nicer if my Ma has nothin' to do with it, but she puts her nose in just about everything."

"There's someone for everyone," Maura said. "Who knows, we all could have already met the person we are supposed to fall in love with and we haven't even realized it yet."

"Lovely. So my options are serial killer, domestic abuser, druggies, cons, hookers or that angry lesbian from a few months ago who keyed her girlfriend's car, and then her girlfriend."

"I think the lesbian is the most practical option."

Jane cocked her head to the side. "You think?"

They giggled, and Maura poured more wine into their glasses. "How would you like to watch a documentary with me on my overly large television?"

"I would love to, as long as that documentary is actually an action movie starring Jackie Chan."

"I'm sure we can come to an agreement."


	4. Season 1: She Works Hard For The Money

**November Rizzles Ficlet #4**

**Episode:** _She Works Hard For The Money_

**Note:** Italics in the beginning is dialogue from the actual episode. Takes place immediately after the fade to black at the end of the episode.

_"What are you going to tell Danielle's father?"_

_Jane paused; she had been mulling over ideas since she got back from work. The thought of having to tell Danielle's father what Danielle had been doing seemed too cruel to the desperate young girl's memory. Finally she shrugged, her mind coming to the only logical option: "All he needs to know," said Jane, "-is that his daughter loved him very much," She looked back up at Maura, whose bottom lip quivered just slightly._

_"Aw," she gushed. "Jane…" she tilted her head, her eyes looking emphatically into Jane's. Jane stopped chewing._

_"What?" asked Jane nervously._

_"I think that's really… that's really sweet," Maura smiled broadly, a hand coming up and laying against her heart. Jane rolled her eyes; one thing she had been learning about the medical examiner was that she could be incredibly emotional at times. She reached across the counter, raising her hand towards a wine bottle just out of her reach._

_"Ah, gross, give me the wine."_

_"What? It's sweet!"_

"If you're going to get all weepy on me, I need alcohol." said Jane seriously.

"You can't handle it when someone sees your sweet side."

"I don't have a sweet side," insisted Jane. "I have a slightly…less…sharp…side."

Shaking her head a bit, Maura laughed. "You're ridiculous,"

"And you're holding the wine hostage," Jane whined.

Maura huffed, but handed over the bottle, her smile never fading. "Have you ever thought of going back to college?" asked Maura.

"Are you kidding me?" snorted Jane. "Go back to college now? No thank you. Maybe I missed out then, but I'm not missing a thing, now. Foil underpants and bowls covering their boobs… no thank you, little miss Greek."

"Oh I never belonged to a sorority." explained Maura. "I did rush once. Mother insisted upon it. I suppose interning at a morgue wasn't exactly their brand of extracurricular activities. They found me strange."

"You? Never." teased Jane.

"No, really, they did."

"I know, I… nevermind, Maura. Pass me a fortune cookie."

"Did you know that, while fortune cookies are often associated with China given their distinctive presence in Chinese food restaurants, if you were to actually go to China, you wouldn't find any? It's because they actually originated in Japan in the early 19th century, and later brought to California." Maura handed Jane one wrapped cookie. Jane looked down at it and then back up at Maura, finally taking the cookie and letting it settle in her hand. She didn't yet unwrap it.

"Gee," she deadpanned. "Who needs college when their best friend is Maura Isles?"


	5. Season 1: Money For Nothing

**November Rizzles Ficlet #5**

**Episode:** _Money For Nothing_

**Summary: **After arresting Garrett Fairfield and Jane introducing Maura to her first beer at the Dirty Robber, the fairly intoxicated detective and medical examiner take a walk, leaving Jane with a few questions regarding her best friend and some indescribable feelings that she doesn't quite understand.

"Told you you'd like my beer," teased Jane as she and Maura walked out of the Dirty Robber. Maura rolled her eyes; Jane had been trying to get her to try beer since their weekly visits to the Dirty Robber had begun, and she had successfully avoided it until that night. She couldn't, however, disagree when Jane teased her about enjoying it. After their third beer each, there was no denying Maura's enjoyment for Jane's beverage of choice. They were both feeling particularly tipsy as they strolled, arms linked, down the sidewalk of the quiet Boston street.

It being dusk, only a few pedestrians were still out. A pinkish hue from the setting sun warmed their sky. The moon was just poking out from behind a cloud. They continued to walk, enjoying the comfortable silence that had lapsed between them, wordlessly agreeing to call a cab whenever their feet tired. It was Maura who spoke first, her words preceded by a long sigh.

"I almost married him, you know."

Jane looked over. Maura looked solemn; her lips were turned in a frown, her eyes downcast. She didn't look up at Jane.

"Why didn't you?" asked Jane.

"Because I don't think I knew what love was when I was twenty," Maura replied stiffly. "I don't think I know any better now than I thought I did then, but I was so young. So naive. For good reason, I suppose, seeing where he is now. God," she gave a haughty laugh. "I can't believe I considered marrying him."

"We all almost make stupid choices when we're young."

"What stupid choice did you almost make?"

"Okay," Jane thought for a moment. "Okay, well. I've got a good one. When I was eighteen I decided I wanted to be a cop. That got me stalked and nearly murdered. Do I win?"

Maura's laugh slurred into her words. "You_ love_ being a cop, Jane. That doesn't count."

"Yeah you're right," admitted Jane. "But my point is, we all make decisions where we don't know what's going to come after. I didn't exactly sign up for these," she held up her hands, revealing the two small, bumpy scars on each of her hands. "-but we make choices that we feel are right for us and we have to live with our choices. Can't do much more than that, ya know. But you didn't marry Garrett Fairfield, Maura. I think that's a choice you can live with."

Her feet ceased movement; Maura's abrupt halt pulled Jane back with her, and she stumbled into her friend, catching them both against the iron rail fence that ran across the line of sidewalk. Jane's head felt heavy. They both had far too much to drink, and the way Maura was looking at her was almost predatory. Her blue-green eyes flickered between Jane's own brown eyes, down to her neck, to her stomach, down to her feet and then back up._ How much had Maura had to drink,_ Jane thought, panicked. Her heart beat heavily against her chest. She swallowed her words, not trusting herself to speak. _How much did I have to drink,_ she wondered.

"I'm glad I made that choice," mumbled Maura, her heavily-lidded eyes fluttering. "That choice led me to you. You're a very good friend, Jane."

Jane's stomach flipped. "You too," her voice was raspy, parched still from the alcohol. "I mean, you're a good friend too, Maura." She turned, tearing her eyes away from Maura, unable to bear the indescribable feeling growing in the pit of her stomach. She hailed a cab and opened the door for Maura, allowing the intoxicated medical examiner to slide in first. _What the hell, Rizzoli,_ was Jane's last thought before Maura laid her head on Jane's shoulder, dosing off to a light sleep.


	6. Season 1: I Kissed A Girl

**November Rizzles Ficlet #6**

**Episode:** I Kissed A Girl

**Summary: **_Maura teases Jane about being a prude. Takes place after the episode._

"So you're telling me you never had feelings for a woman, ever?"

Jane turned to look at Maura, raising an eyebrow at her friend. "Are you telling me you have?"

After celebrating the end of a case at the Dirty Robber with Korsak and Frost, Jane and Maura headed back to Maura's, which seemed to have become a routine for the pair after a night out. Maura was laid out on the couch, looking down at Jane, while Jane was sitting, legs crossed, on the floor, Jo Friday sleeping in her lap. There was an incredulous expression on Jane's face; their conversation about Merch had picked up again, much to Jane's dismay, and Maura seemed to be in a sharing mood, which Jane was quickly realizing never bode well for herself.

"Sexuality is fluid," replied Maura. Jane's mouth fell open. "Oh come on, Jane. You didn't experiment at all during your time at college?"

Jane snorted. "I went to community college, Maura. I woke up every morning to my mother making me pancakes and handing me a bagged lunch. There wasn't much time for experimentation of any kind." She trailed off for a moment, looking down at Jo Friday and petting her. "And besides," she began again. "Even if I did have time, I'm not _gay."_

"I don't believe in labels."

"Oh you don't?"

"No," said Maura pointedly. "I don't."

"What do you believe in, then?"

"I believe that any person can be attracted to any other person for a variety of reasons. Love transcends all boundaries."

"How philosophical of you."

"So would you?"

"Would I what?"

"Would you date a woman?"

"Well that chick with front row celtics tickets sounded pretty nice," joked Jane. Maura frowned. "Well God, Maura, I haven't really given the whole dating women thing a lot of thought - not that I'm giving it a thought now - I just - you know what, we're done with this conversation."

"Prude."

"Did you just call me aprude?"

Maura giggled. "Well you are,"

"Just because my sexual fluids aren't as flowy as yours - " Jane stopped mid-sentence as Maura's lips slowly turned up in a smile. "Oh stop," hissed Jane, picking up a pillow and hitting Maura in the stomach with it.

"Prude," mumbled Maura again, earning herself another hard smack with the pillow by Jane.


	7. Season 1: Born To Run

November Rizzles Ficlet #7

Episode: Born To Run

Summary: Maura is one of the Rizzolis now. After Jane and Maura run in the Marathon.

"I am so _sore_," groaned Jane as she and Maura collapsed on the couch, in unison. Jo Friday jumped at their legs, but Jane shoved him away, issuing a loud grunt as she did it. She rubbed her shoulder and turned to Maura, making a face, " - next time you want to do something together, can it be something that doesn't including murders and running up a giant hill and _pain?"_

Maura smiled, a little laugh erupting from the back of her throat. "Our nightly rituals of drinks at the Robber is becoming less boring by the second,"

"Yeah, I - wait, you thought they were boring?"

"I…" Maura squeezed her eyes shut. "What I meant to say, was - "

"Hey, no meditating. I don't care if it is too stressful to argue with me. You think I'm boring!"

"Routines can become boring, yes. I did not say _you_ were boring, Jane."

"Liar."

"I am not a liar."

"You're right. You're a truther. You tell the truth in a polite, mean way."

"That's a contradiction."

"Teach me how to meditate because it's too stressful to argue with _you."_

"Oh, Jane," Maura sighed, but a smile remained in place. "You know, your parents are very nice."

Jane raised an eyebrow to Maura's comment. "I guess,"

"They hugged me."

"Parents hug,"

"Not mine."

"What?"

"My parents were never the touchy-feely type. I enrolled myself in boarding school at a very young age, so I wasn't home much, either. They were both very busy."

Jane snorted, her mouth falling open. "So you enrolled yourself in boarding school?"

"It was for the best," Maura shrugged.

"Your parents really never hugged you?"

"Never is a bit extreme, but instances were few and far in between, yes." replied Maura breezily. "I suppose I never made it very easy for them. I was a very independent child,"

"Yeah but, no hugs? God, I could barely get my Ma off me half the time. First day of school, last day of school, every day of school…" she trailed off.

"But that's sweet,"

"For you,"

Maura's face fell. "I would have loved it. I think I would have loved it, at least. Or maybe I'd be like you," her shoulders fell. "But tonight was very nice. Thank your parents for me. They're very supportive of you."

Standing, Maura crossed to Jane's kitchen and grabbed them each a water bottle from the fridge, taking her time to uncap each bottle. She was digging through cupboards for snacks, and Jane was watching her, watching how her face was so still, but from the look in her eyes, Jane could tell that Maura's brain was turning, memories flooding in and out. She wanted to ask, wanted to get to know the medical examiner more than she did, but something stopped her. The words wouldn't slip from her lips. The questions were trapped in her brain and heart. As she looked at Maura, she saw someone far more fragile than she had ever seen before. Maura Isles had always seemed so put together and, at times, emotionally distant, almost as though there were times she didn't feel at all. Jane saw a wall break down in her friend that day when the collected nature of Maura Isles was washed away with the desperate nature of their situation. The cool and calm nature was systematically broken down.

Jane didn't want to be responsible for that again.

She was sure that Maura had given her more insight into her parents than she had ever given anyone. Pushing it seemed like a bad idea.

Maura began walking back, and without thinking, Jane stood up. She caught Maura's attention easily, as her movement was so abrupt, and they both paused; their eyes caught, and Jane walked over, a fierce feeling of determination falling over her, and she took the two water bottles and apples and set them aside on a table.

"What are you?" began Maura, but Jane leaned forward and embraced her. The hug was short, but Jane pulled away and patted Maura's shoulder.

"One more hug for good measure," she explained. "Pretty sure Ma has already accepted you as a member of the Rizzoli family, so you need to get used to it. Apples? Really, Maura? I'm getting the chips,"


	8. Season 1: I'm Your Boogie Man

_**November Rizzles Ficlet #8**_

**Episode:** I'm Your Boogie Man

**Summary:** After the case is closed, Maura is left to her own thoughts while Jane is on her date with Agent Dean. She can't stop thinking of Hoyt's declaration of Maura being just like him, and of Jane's assurances that she's not.

_I'm not like him, _thought Maura. _I'm not like him._

Charles Hoyt's words still wrestled in her mind, despite Jane's reassurances. His face, so twisted and contorted, his lips thin against his slack, scarred face; every age induced line creased across his forehead was memorized into Maura's mind as the man who had the ability to ruin so many lives.

She dropped her keys on the table next to her front door and kicked off her shoes. Never before had she felt so little the urge to clean up after herself, but the past few days wore her down far more than she had realized until that moment. Jane was out with Agent Dean – at Maura's own persuading – but there was a tiny tinge of regret building greater inside Maura with each passing moment. She found herself longing for companionship in a way that she never had before.

It was different with Jane.

She knew that, now.

It would always be different with Jane.

Shuffling herself towards the kitchen, she pulled out leftovers from the night before and warmed them in the microwave, only paying mild attention to everything she was doing, as she was so lost in her thoughts. Logically, Jane was right - Maura knew she was a decent person. She donated to charities, did volunteer work, chose a profession that allowed her to do service to her community. For every irrational thought planted in her head by Hoyt, there was a rational thought to combat it.. Still, there was an uneasy feeling within her that she couldn't shake.

She never was a social person; naturally, there were obligations put upon her by her mother and father, given their high ranking status among colleagues. Parties to attend, charity fundraisers, dinners with politicians whom Maura still warmly regarded to the day, however brief the time she spent with them, but, as her father always told her, it was good and necessary to have contacts in the government. Even during her relationship with Garrett, there were roles she had to play, being a dutiful girlfriend. But she never enjoyed any of it. The conversation could be stimulating, the entertainment was always lovely, and the food on the precipice of perfection, but she had never, not once, thoroughly enjoyed herself at any such affair.

Until she met Jane, that was.

The timer on the microwave beeped and Maura pulled the plate, not considering how hot it would be. It crashed down and shattered as she pulled her hand away from the searing heat, the fine glass dusting across the floor in a sparkling powder. She ran her hand under cool water until the pain eased, and Maura ushered Bass out of the kitchen as she grabbed a broom and dust pan.

"Maybe I'm not like him," said Maura aloud to Bass, as she brushed in the remains of her plate onto the dust pan. "But maybe I would have been if it weren't for Jane." She turned to look at the creature, who seemed wholly uninterested in his owner's conversation. "Hoyt is dead inside, you know. He has to be. How can someone like him feel? He is so isolated from humanity, from society. From feelings. That's how I was, Bass. I was alone." She dropped the dust pan and fell back against the cupboards, her shoulders slumped. She brought her hand to Bass's shell, patting it lightly. "But I'm alive now," she whispered. "I've never felt so alive. I've never felt so…"

_Loved,_ she thought.


	9. Season 1: The Beast In Me

November Rizzles Ficlet #9

Episode: The Beast In Me

Summary: This is a rewrite of the scene in "The Beast In Me" at Jane's apartment, when Maura is telling Jane about her meet with Patrick. I infused some Rizzles feels here and there. Much of the initial dialogue comes straight from the episode with a few tweaks, until further down, where I add in continuity from the last episode that I always felt should have been included.

Assume that Frankie knocking on the door comes straight after this scene ends.

Enjoy!

* * *

"I don't know who I am anymore," Maura brought her hand to her forehead, her fingers massaging the taught skin. Her temples throbbed; never before had she had such a headache, and she wished it would go away. She wished it would all go away. Patrick, Colin. Ignorance, Maura was realizing, truly was bliss.

"C'mon, Maura," Jane set her beer bottle down. "You're the same ridiculously smart, amazing, goofy person that you were before! I mean _knowing_ that he is the source of the sperm doesn't change that," She took a swig of her beer, shrugging.

Maura shrugged as well. "Don't be so sure," she said. "Technically you did just say that my father is a killer."

"Mm, no, uh oh, I said the s_perm donor_ was a killer."

Maura stirred her cereal around in the bowl. She wasn't hungry. Hungry for truth, maybe. But a bowl of frosted flakes? She pushed the bowl away from her towards Jane, exhaling deeply. "Jane, he had_ photographs_ of me. From the time I was a child."

Jane's eyes flashed up towards Maura's; she frowned, twisting her hands together nervously. Her voice was quiet as she spoke, in a way that Maura had never heard before. "If he wants to protect you…" Jane said. "Maybe we should let him."

"Jane, no!" exclaimed Maura. "No, no, we don't do things like that, Jane. _We're_ the good guys, we don't have people _killed,_ Jane. We try them, in the Court of Law, we - "

"Listen," Jane argued. "Even if we arrest Colin's killer, that'll just leave a path for your father's enemies to find you! He's not your father, Maura, and Colin isn't your brother! He's… he's the sperm donors spawn, that's all. You're not him, you're not like them! What do they have to do with you?"

"Empirical data from scholarly sources provide strong, converging lines of evidence that indicate that there is some genetic predisposition to crime!"

"Maura, there's not an evil bone in your body,"

"How do you know?" shrieked Maura. "How do you know that he wasn't right?!"

"Who - " Jane's face fell. "Maura…"

A tear slipped from Maura's eye, leaving a trail of black mascara in its wake. "What if Hoyt was right, Jane. Look at where I come from," her voice softened. "Look at what I'm made from. What if Hoyt was right? What if I'm like him, inside?" Jane slid her beer and Maura's bowl of cereal away from them, reaching across the counter and clutching Maura's hand in her own. It took Maura by surprise; despite months of friendship with the surly detective, every small, seemingly insignificant touch sent a spark through her body. She brought her eyes up to look at Jane.

Jane's voice seemed hoarser than usual, her words heavy with fear and sadness. Her hand squeezed Maura's tighter. "Hoyt is a bastard, Maura. He is cold. He is sadistic. He is _nothing_ like you. You are warm and loving. Look at what you do every day of your life."

"I spend more time with bodies than Colin and Paddy put together."

"No," said Jane insistently. "No, you give families closure. You've said it before, Maura. You speak for the dead. You give voices to people who lost theirs. Every day, Maura. Every day, you give life to death. Think'a how many lives you've saved because of your autopsies, because you help put killers behind bars."

"Jane…"

"No!" said Jane, bringing her other hand to Maura's. "No, you listen. You are good, you hear me? You're good. There's not a DNA test in the world that's gonna tell you differently. You, Maura Isles, are inherently good and that doesn't change because you suddenly know that Patrick Doyle is your biological father. You are the same person that you were before knew Paddy and the same person before Hoyt. Don't you ever let anyone tell you different."

"-ly," murmured Maura.

"What?"

"Differently,"

"You're correcting my grammar right now?" Jane couldn't help but laugh. Maura provided a weak smile. "See, right there," muttered Jane. "No bad person could have a smile that beautiful."

"Thank you," whispered Maura, finally squeezing Jane's hand back.

"Yeah," Jane smiled. "Anytime."


	10. Season 1: When The Gun Goes Bang, Bang

**November Rizzles Ficlet #10**

**Episode:** When The Gun Goes Bang, Bang, Bang

**Summary: J**ane is unconscious. Maura is at her bedside, reflecting on her memories of what happened after the shooting. Her feelings for Jane have grown.

_Beep._

_Beep._

_Beep._

The repetition was grating on Maura's nerves. Two weeks. It had been two weeks since Jane opened her eyes. Angela had taken permanent camp in the hospital room, only leaving at Maura and Frankie's incessant prodding to go shower. During those times, Maura would step up to Jane's beside. Not that Maura ever left, either. No, Maura stayed at the hospital until ungodly hours of the night. She watched Angela flutter between her children's hospital rooms, watched Frost and Korsak bring flowers from the precinct. Sometimes Jane's dad would show up, but it wasn't often; no, her preferred to stay away from it all, pour himself into his work like Maura had seen Jane do so many times.

_Like father, like daughter,_ she supposed.

Tonight she was alone. Alone with the silence, alone with her thoughts. She was completely and utterly alone, and it had never terrified her so greatly. Would she be alone for the rest of her life? Jane had given her a taste of what family was like, of what true friendship was like; Maura knew that, Maura _knew_ that Jane was what awoke her soul and gave her courage to be the social person she was becoming. Jane had created a feeling of wholeness within Maura. She had never felt alone during the months Jane was her friend.

And now?

Silence.

Her only companions were the beeping machines. Sure, Korsak and Frost were as lovely as ever, and Angela was the doting mother that Maura had always wanted. But Jane?_ Jane_ was her friend. _Jane_ knew Maura._ Jane_ knew she wasn't like Hoyt, wasn't like her father. _Jane_ convinced her of these things.

"Wake up," whispered Maura, her finger entangling itself in the snarls of curly brown hair. "You have got to wake up," she said. "For your mother and father. For Frankie. For Frost and Korsak. For _me_," She closed her eyes.

—

_"Stay with me, Jane," Maura was panicking. Her insides squirmed, tears involuntarily fell from her eyes. She felt her head spinning faster and faster and faster still. When had Jane become so heavy? She lay motionless and blood soaked in Maura's arms, her lips having already lost their normally pale pink. Maura brought Jane's scarred hands into her own, her fingertips running over the coarse bumps from where the scalpels had driven into her flesh those many months she can come through that,thought Maura,she can come through Maura knew this was different. Bile rose in her throat as she examined Jane's wound._

_How could she have done this?_

_Covered in Jane's blood, she was ushered out of the ambulance and Maura watched as Jane's body was wheeled into the emergency room. You can't go any further, ma'am, they had said. Maura wanted to scream at them. Her insides twisted. I'm her friend, her head screamed. I'm Jane's friend, let me through. But the doors were closed and there was nobody left. Maura was alone in a waiting room._

_Completely alone._

_—_

"You were selfish," Hot, salty tears fell down Maura's face, filling the corners of her mouth, halting on the dip of her cheeks. The anger had been building inside of her for sometime. "You could have waited," she said. "Frankie would have lived. Frankie is fine, Jane, Frankie is fine, and you're…" Her voice cut off, a choking sob strangling her words. "Dammit, Jane," Maura bowed her head, her forehead coming down on the hard, hospital mattress. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do without you, you know. I've never admitted to needing anyone before but I need you. You're the best friend I've ever had. Of course, you're the only best friend I've ever had, but that's because nobody was ever willing to understand me and youdo.I need someone that understands me. This was selfish. This was selfish and heroic and completely and utterly you, and I hate you for it," She balled up a bit of the mattress in her fists. "I hate you for this, Jane. But dammit, I love you, too. I think I really love you…"

Jane remained motionless. With one last look at her friend, Maura stood, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand.

_Beep._

_Beep._

_Beep._

* * *

__**Author's Note:**

_And there is Season 1! Just wanted to take a moment to thank you all for reading these silly little things. It's hard keeping up, but it's worth it knowing that there are people enjoying these, no matter how small. I'll keep going until the end of November (I think that'll wrap up season 2?) but I don't think I'm going to do Season 3 until the DVD is released. So if I finish season 2 ficlets ~ before ~ the end of November, that will be the end of these updates until the DVDs OR if I don't finish season 2 before the end of November, I will continue until season 2 is concluded._

_I may change my mind on this (the part of season 3 and waiting for the DVDs), but I wanted to do a Christmas series of some sorts, and I can't do both at the same time. If you want to let me know which you'd prefer, go right ahead, and I'll take it all into consideration._


	11. Author's Note

What?

Okay, I thought I uploaded this but evidently I didn't and I didn't even realize it until I got a private message.

So I decided to stop these at season one, because I didn't want to stop mid-season. Not because I don't want to continue this series, but because school got ~ way ~ too crazy in way too short of a span. However, this is good for you guys, because now I'm not leaving you hanging on a random episode in season two. I'll probably write these miscellaneously as I go along. I have episodes one, two and three done for season two but I don't want to upload them quite yet.

Christmas fics are coming. I'm not doing one every day. I have finals to study for these next two weeks so that would be impossible. However, I have cute little fics planned that I hope you'll enjoy.

Thanks for reading,

- Elise


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